A Warning To The Ignorant

A Warning To The Ignorant

Friday, May 9, 2008

Exclusive Interview With The 3 Black Men Who Got Their Asses Kicked By The Philadelphia Police Department

We here at the "PHNN" (Parallel Hood News Network) work tirelessly to bring you up to the minute news about all that is going on in your community. We were able to use our connections to get an exclusive interview with one of the 3 Black men who got their asses kicked by the Philadelphia Police Department a few days ago.

We are now with Brian Hall, one of the 3 Black men who got his ass kicked by the Philadelphia Police Department.

PHNN: "Mr. Hall how are you doing after this episode?"

Hall: "Well my ass still hurts from getting kicked by the steel toed shoes worn by the cops but the prison infirmary tells me that I should be able to sleep on by back in a few days."

PHNN: "I am sorry to hear that Mr Hall. I hope everything works out for you."

Hall: "My trial lawyer, however, believes that I might have sustained permanent injury though. Now when my moms asks me why I don't just get up and find a job all I'll need to do is to replay the video tape. "

PHNN: "You have a point there. Indeed it was quite a beating"

Hall: "Well at least my moms will back off of me because this one minute ass whooping is going to translate into several million dollars taken from the treasury of the city of Philadelphia. :-) "

PHNN: "That's an interesting turn of events"

Hall: "Well just think. The average person taking a shot at the fame and glory of professional wrestling has to lift weights and go through several sparing matches on his way to fortune. All I had to do was to participate in a shooting, participate in a car chase with countless number of police following behind as we drove recklessly through the streets of North Philly and then step out of the car and GET MY ASS KICKED........Like money in the bank baby!"

PHNN: "Interesting Mr. Hall. Now let me change up subjects for a minute and get a bit more personal about what you were feeling at the time that you were getting your ass kicked. Here is the video tape playing. Tell us what was going through your mind during each frame."

Hall: "Well I figured that after going on a high speed chase for several blocks, almost running over several Black people that if we just stopped and gave up that the cops who are professionals would have their adrenaline lowered just hand cuff us and take us in. This is what they were trained to do, right? This is what the society expects from THEM. The society does not have any expectations upon me - a Black man so I should be allowed to do what I want. I have a right not to be beaten though. My crime of shooting in public and running away is not punishable by death......or by getting my ass kicked by the cops on the street.

PHNN: "Astounding".

Hall: "When they threw me down on the ground in this frame I thought that I was experiencing a 'Jump In' by the Crypts. I mean I saw all of the blue shirts around me. About 4 years ago I wanted to join the Bloods. When they told me about the jump in that I would have to go through I declined. At least with THIS jump in with the Philly cops.....I'm gonna get PAID for getting my ass kicked by the Philadelphia police department!! 33% gone to my trial lawyer, shit, this Nigga still will have a bunch of change in his pocket. What! Nigga what?!"

PHNN: "Amazing. Now Mr. Hall - what about this frame right here. You are clearly getting your ass kicked by two officers. What exactly were you thinking?"

Hall: "To be honest with you - I was feeling kinda good. I had just gone to the inauguration of the 3rd Black Mayor of Philadelphia. As the crowd gathered and I was looking for some pockets to pick.......I was captured by his speech. He talked about HOPE for the city of Philadelphia. He talked about how society has failed to provide for so many and that CHANGE was going to come about under his administration. I saw the new Black police commissioner sitting on state as well. When I saw these Black men on stage and I knew they were also Democrats I got inspired. I had to walk back and give the old lady who's wallet I stole her property back."

PHNN: "You are an honorable man Mr. Hall"

Hall: "So to answer your question - when I was actually getting my ass kicked by the Philadelphia Police Department I felt comfortable that 2 strong Black Democrats were ultimately the commanders of these rogue cops who were kicking my ass after I had charged them up by going on a long chase through the city, having almost killed some people."

PHNN: "That is interesting. I hear the same hope for motivation being said about Obama. People say that if young Black males like yourself were to see that a BLACK MAN can rise to the level of President that it might motivate you to achieve higher as well. Your comments?"

Hall: "Well that is nice but in truth I my daddy hadn't left me hanging all of those times I had waited for him to come on the weekends for his court ordered visitation - I believe that this would have had a much greater impact upon me. You see - now that I think about it sir, Getting your ass kicked by the Philadelphia Police Department feels the same regardless of is the mayor is White or Black, Democrat or Republican. I must therefore figure that had Obama been president at the time rather than evil George W. Bush - my ass would be just as raw now as it is today. This claim is only used to draw Black folks to vote with their HEARTS and not their ASSES.

PHNN: "Powerful!"

Hall: "I just hope I can get my felony conviction tossed out because I got my ass kicked by the Police Department of Philadelphia so that I can vote for Obama in November."

PHNN: "We at Parallel Hood News Network thank you so much Mr. Hall. Your words were insightful. Now I can truly say that I can empathize about how it feels to get your Ass Kicked by the Philadelphia Police Department.


carol said...

Are you kidding me? Let's see.. a police officer gets assasinated by 3 useless idiots and the next day they are at it again. Gee, maybee the hard working cops should have sat them down and given them cookies and milk. If they would have got their ass beat many years ago for their wrongdoings(god only knows what they were)the may have not have to had hit them as hard. NOW WHEN THEY SUE THE CITY WE CAN GIVE THEM ALL THE MONEY THEY WEW AFTER IN THE FIRST PLACE. BAN ALL ASSAULT WEAPONS STOP PEOPLE PLEASING THOSE IN HOLLYWOOD THAT DONT GIVE A CRAP ABOUT US ANYWAY DISGUSTED CAROL

Anonymous said...

oh yeah...that sounds rational. first, how about the driver who got his ass kicked the worst didnt have a record. how about the fat that these guys have alibis stating that they were somewhere else. how about the fact there was no car chase. how about the thought of this being you or someone you loved....would you feel the same way. yes, cops are hard working and yes they get stressed and yes they are pissed and hurt aftre losing one of thier own, knowing that it could have been any one of them. but that does not justify beating and stomping human beings...especially being a professional person who is trained to show more restraint. they beat the driver unconcious and then continued to kick him and drag him across the ground. think about what you say before you say it....you know...in order to avoid sounding..REALLY stupid.